My husband and I are looking for a house. It’s a buyer’s market, and houses in our price range that aren’t rotten former meth labs are gone in a matter of hours.

One thing good about the app’s death reminders is that they had reminded me that getting upset over not getting a house is essentially getting sad over “stuff.” And as we all know, we can’t take our material possessions with us.

Or maybe it’s not about the house. Maybe it’s what the house would say about me. The house would mean I finally have my shit together. At least I have it together enough that a bank would want to loan me money.

Yes, I am legit, and I have the debt to prove it.

Today, I was comfortably resigned. I felt it wouldn’t be so bad if we had to wait a year. We could save up more money to afford something in a bigger price range. We would have more options. More options for more stuff.

Then there was a new listing today. A house. In our price range. Great neighborhood. New siding. New roof. New windows. Privacy fence. Big back yard. Near the park…the library…the hospital. The listing should have said, “All of your dreams will come true here. Your unborn children will love you forever in this place…not in that crappy apartment you are in right now.”

I texted the realtor: “Can we look at it soon?”

She replied, “There’s already one offer on it, but we can still look. How about 3:15?”

My WeCroak app dings, “Don’t forget. You’re going to die.”

Okay, thanks phone. I wish I was making this shit up.

We walk through the house. It feels like the best home ever. I’m also trying to remember that exactly one week ago I felt this way about another house. That one sold before we could make an offer, but we were able to fall in love again.

There’s other fish in the sea, right?

We made an offer.

About 15 minutes later, I was hit with nausea. I don’t know if it’s intuition that’s something’s not right, or if I’m just that anxious. (It is KIND OF a major purchase.) It’s crazy how we can go from resignation to excitement and butterflies and back down to sickening dread in the matter of two hours.

That is one of the beautiful things about life: We don’t stay stuck anywhere for too long.

We’ll find out by 9 pm tonight whether it’s ours or not.

Cross your fingers,

This happened three days ago.  Get up to date writing on my email list.  😉